When it comes to self care and development?
On my journey to wellbeing I have noticed that my good intentions rarely materialise because I decide other activities are more important. For example spending an hour in the morning just on myself doing things for my own benefit such as a bit of exercise, meditation, reading or writing journals, quite frequently is replaced with doing some housework, researching my latest craft venture, checking emails, online banking, there are endless options. These ‘distractions’ are important too, I tell myself, getting them done makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, and they do need to be done. But am I fooling myself? Yes, they are necessary tasks, but not instead of the hour I planned for myself. I realise I am making excuses not to do what I intended, the question is why? There seems to be some resistance to my self-care plan, so why do I resist something that will be good for me? This is where I need to find the answers in order to put my needs first. First we’ll look at the difference between distraction and resistance:
Distraction
Distraction refers to a state of being pulled away or diverted from a task or focus of attention. It involves interference or interruption that hinders one’s ability to concentrate on a particular activity or thought. I’m talking about self-distraction here, not from outside influences such as children, pets, partners, friends or work colleagues. Some of our distractions could be in the form of habitually scrolling through social media, starting a new hobby or project or choosing an easier task to do.   These activities provide an escape from the stresses of daily life but prevent us from making valuable progress on a personal level.Â
Resistance
Resistance, can refer to the subconscious avoidance of facing uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, or situations. While it might seem counterintuitive, engaging in self-distraction often stems from our resistance to confronting certain aspects of our lives. So even though we really want to do things to improve our mental, emotional and physical health the reality can be scary. Believe it or not, staying with what we are familiar with, even things that make us unhappy, can be comfortable because it has become a habit and change is not comfortable and more importantly it requires an amount of effort on our part. Change means stepping into the unknown and the excitement of self improvement is outweighed by the uncertainty of what the outcome may be. There are lots of reasons why positive improvements can feel negative, such as how the new improved you may be received by others, feeling guilty spending time on yourself instead of serving others, not being worth it or letting go of the unhealthy habits that we enjoy. Here’s a closer look at how self-distraction and resistance are interconnected:
The Illusion of Productivity
Engaging in seemingly productive activities, like cleaning your house from top to bottom or meticulously organizing your closet, can offer a convincing illusion of accomplishment while deflecting your attention from more pressing matters. I am guilty of doing this, I may be looking for a pen to start writing a journal and end up clearing a drawer out in the process leaving no time for my intended task. I definitely feel better if I’ve decluttered a drawer and it makes life easier looking for things afterwards BUT I’ve avoided doing the thing that could have been even more beneficial to me.
Avoidance of Uncomfortable Emotions
Resistance thrives on avoiding discomfort. When we bury our heads in our smartphones or immerse ourselves in video games, we effectively dodge the uncomfortable emotions we might be experiencing. Rather than confronting our feelings of anxiety, stress, or sadness, we choose to escape into a virtual world where these emotions seem temporarily distant. I can be reading a self-help book enthusiastically and then an idea pops into my head, usually inspired from the book initially, but this ‘idea’ takes me away from finishing the book and following the exercises. It could be wanting to buy copies for friends or a new journal to work through it for example, so I start looking online and then I’m lost in a world of distractions and don’t get back to my book and avoid doing any of the self-help exercises.
Subconscious Fear of Change
Sometimes, resistance originates from an unconscious fear of change. Starting a new project or addressing personal challenges can be daunting, as they often require stepping out of our comfort zones. In these moments, the allure of self-distraction can become almost irresistible, allowing us to stay within the confines of what we know, even if it’s not serving our growth.
I initially started this blog to record my journey to healing and wellbeing and to share all the ideas, experience and knowledge I have. I don’t have any problem sharing and you’ll find lots of useful articles here on self-care, self-love and healing etc. But my initial intention of leading by example by practicing what I preach didn’t get very far. Even though I know that putting myself first is essential to my wellbeing, I have resisted in doing so in the belief that life is full of distractions and setbacks. SO now I ask myself ‘what are my fears?’ Is it the fear of failure, the fear of change? I will be addressing this in my personal blog because I have actually been making some improvements in my health but I fear that I won’t succeed and that will not help other people. It’s time for a change!
Where to Start
The Power of Self-Awareness
Recognizing self-distraction as a form of resistance is the first step towards breaking free from its grip. Cultivating self-awareness allows us to identify the moments when we’re using distractions to avoid facing uncomfortable truths. Instead of succumbing to resistance, we can choose to lean into discomfort, acknowledging our feelings and addressing the root causes.
Embracing Mindfulness and Reflection
By fostering mindfulness and practicing self-reflection, we can dismantle the cycle of resistance. Mindfulness encourages us to be present in our emotions and experiences, making it harder for resistance to gain a foothold. Self-reflection helps us identify the patterns of distraction we engage in and empowers us to take intentional steps towards personal growth.
In conclusion, self-distraction isn’t always the harmless escape it appears to be. It often serves as a subconscious form of resistance, deterring us from facing uncomfortable emotions and avoiding necessary change. By recognizing this connection and practicing self-awareness, mindfulness, and reflection, we can break free from the cycle of resistance and move towards a more authentic, empowered, and growth-oriented life.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you like this article please take look at some of my other pages or blog posts where I talk about different therapies and my own wellbeing journey and if you’d like to see future posts then please enter your email address and click on the subscribe button below and you will be notified of future content. I have no plans to use your email address for any other purpose. Feel free to share my page with anyone you feel may be interested and if you have any feedback about what I write or suggestions for further articles then please use the comment box further down the page. Warmest Wishes, Janet x
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